Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Completely Overwhelmed

I have been completely overwhelmed in the last couple of days, hence the reason for the lack of posting. I have not been able to get to my buttons in a couple of days and probably could stand to do some now instead of blogging. At this moment, I just don't have the energy. There are a few things that are going on that are causing me a bit of anxiety. I am attempting not to worry and leave things to the Almighty, but things are getting tight. There have been several changes happening including: my grandmother's recent arrival (she will be living with us now), the need to look at my current career status due to her recent arrival, ministries and my involvement, and my social interactions.

While any one of these issues alone are nothing to worry about, the coupling of them together have me feeling like I am drowning with seemingly no reprieve in the near future. My grandmother coming to dwell with us is a wonderful and necessary thing at the moment. Miss Mary is an incredible woman, although she has her moments of being completely irritating (but what mother or grandmother doesn't) Within the last year I have asked the Lord to make me a better daughter, and perhaps this is an extension of that prayer. You know what the Good Book says, "Honor thy mother and father....", and perhaps this is the way to get my attention.

My priorities have always been a little different, with money (although we need it) and jobs (although we need those too) trailing in second to my relationships with others. This whole situation challenges that thought process. I have the opportunity to spend some time with Graham (as I like to call her) and develop that relationship a little more. However, that opportunity presents other things....other questions. Who will care for her while we are at work? If she doesn't want to go to a home, is it proper that we send her anyway? She has already proven that she is not able to be alone, although my aunt says we just need to lay down the law. She doesn't get out much as she claims that she is so sick (although she can't tell you of any symptoms). Dialog:

Graham: I don't feel like going, I told yall I am too sick
Me: Well Graham, what hurts
Graham (she chuckles): I keep telling yall that nothing has to hurt to be sick, I am just sick.
Me: When people say that they are sick, they usually have symptoms. You know, stuff that hurts, things that ache, etc.
Graham: Don't you know that people die everyday that weren't feeling bad, but just sick
(at this point, I just say okay...no conversation about being sick beyond this point)

Even if she could stay home alone, what type of life is that to live...no social interaction for hours on end. Not one that I would want to live, but different strokes for different folks...I guess. So now I am forced with wondering how in the world my mother and I are going to handle this here situation. We are both working adults and very active with church ministry (which takes up life period). It's funny how God answers our prayers sometimes. Before Graham thought about coming to live with us I thought about how I would make this art thing that I know God gifted me with work as well. It dawned on me that the only way I would make it is if I immersed myself in the process of creating and being creative. The way things were going with life (no car and working 12 hour days because of it) there was no way that was going to get accomplished. I thought about perhaps working part-time. You know working somewhere for about 25 hours a week where I would get benefits, but really focusing more on my art. I didn't really see how that would pan out. And as God would have it, it seems as if He is working things out to a T for me, providing Graham as a vehicle for that part-time job to be a necessity as oppose to an option. How this is going to change my social life, I am almost afraid to wonder. I really have no social life as it is, and I cannot really imagine this making things any better.

Ultimately, I trust God to do what He does best...and that is take care of His child. I am sure that He will do what He deems necessary to get His purpose fulfilled. I am over and out for the evening. I will have progress notes and pics on the buttons and my other art endeavors later this week.

Be blessed!

4 comments:

Lovebabz said...

Sister,
Take a breath. Get your bearings. Now you are right to turn things over to God. Very smart! Relax and know that the universe is working to make your life better even as you blog.

You may want to consider that your Grandmother may be suffering from depression. You may want to look atwhat she is saying from a mental health standpoint and not an obvious physical illness--like a hurt hip or headache. Depression is very common with elderly people, especially if they are uprooted--even if they choose and facilitate the move. Check AARP for support. She may need the company of other elderly folks, say going to a Seniour Center, or maybe a Mothers Group at Church.

Keep the faith and take it easy on yourself. All shall be well.

The Artist In Me said...

Hey Lovebabz,
Yes...I do consider my Graham suffering from depression and her recent move. However, in the past week I have come to know my Graham a little different that I have in the past. It's all good. The Lord will allow me to deal with her how He desires for me to.

I will definitely be checking some additional resources.

Thanks and I hope to blog (and respond to blogs :-)) more regularly after things calm down.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

woman dont kil yourself, and when u can i need a favor, i put up chapter 3 from my due to be released next novel HER KISS WAS NEVER MINE on my blog today, let me know wha u think pls


and u never ans. if could dd u to my blog roll

The Artist In Me said...

Torrance you most certainly can add me to your blog roll. I would be honored. By the way, you are on mine...and I didn't even ask. I hope that is okay!

Things around here have been rather hectic, but I am looking forward to getting back in the swing of things. I will most definitely check out the 3rd chapter and give you a heads up about what I think.

Be blessed!