Tuesday, March 25, 2008


I was completely moved by an article that I read this morning. It was a Fallujah veteran by the name of Blake Miller with a Marlboro hanging out of his mouth. Although I had never conciously seen this photograph, it was apparent from what the article stated that it was famous. The portrait spoke volumes and the story behind it even more so. At the end of the article, Blake made a statement about God. He expressed to feel like so many of us at one time or another that believe and don't believe in God. His statement went like this:

I have a blatant disregard for life, he says. Every day that I wake up, it's like, 'Why do you keep giving me more?' The Bible says that the big man don't put no more on you than what you can stand.

Miller pauses, the sound of porno moans wafting from the TV. 'I mean, He must think that I deserve to F***in' be punished baaad. And the only reason why I can figure that I'm still alive is that this is God's way of letting me feel the guild for all the bad s**I did. Because there's not a morning when I don't F***in' wake up and the first thing I think is, "Another day I'm here. What did I do to make me deserve another day? What have I done in my life that my buddies didn't do to make me deserve so many days?'

excert from Rolling Stone Magazine written by Jenny Eliscu, This is the Face of
the War in Iraq. The Mind behind it will never be the same. The troubled
Homecoming of the Marlboro Marine.

He wondered why God let him live through what was so tragic. The story tells us that he suffered from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The images that were permanantly imbedded within his mind corrupted his way of thinking, loving...processing much of anything. He assumed that he must have done something or be paying for the bad things he had done in the past for deserving to be in the state that he was-depressed, anxious, thoughts of suicide, feelings of lonliness, etc. It rings so true for so many of us that just don't understand the unexplainable, terrible, awkward and devastating events that life too often presents.

I wondered at that moment if I had the opportunity to speak to that scared yet brave soul, what exactly I would say. Would I fumble over my words and make matters worse for him? Would my words produce disdain for past mistakes made or comfort for the future that still was yet to come? I wondered how this individual and those that are still on the battlefield would be effected by this upcoming election. Would the new seated president offer some sort of reprieve for our soldiers or leave them hanging on the line...out to die? Would they offer some sort of compensation that would provide them with some piece of mind or help them revert back to the mental stability that existed before they left for the war?

All in all, the story gave me ideas to do another series about the effects this war has had on those that are on the frontline. It gave me the desire to pray even harder for those that are fighting, officials that send them and the family that are affected. It forced me to be eternally grateful for being who God made me. Being grateful that none of my close family or friends have been shipped out to what we can probably equate to hell for those young men.

I just wanted to share that with you all. It was really kind of deep for me.

In other news:
I have done it everyone. I have cut it off..my hair that is. I have to be honest and say that it is not my cup of tea at the moment. However, I saw that I was getting way too attached and was making it somewhat my identity. So, off it went. It's curly and I will post pics later.

Art news:
-I picked up my camera yesterday. Finally..LOL! I had a wonderful time with it and the pics prove it. I will be doing it much more often these days.
-I have gessoed the canvases for two other parts to the button series
-I will be in a local craft show selling my jewelry.
-Working on looking for artists grants for the later part of this year and upcoming years.

Well, that is it for this evening folks. I wanted to give you a full update since I have not been doing so lately.

Be blessed!


Lovebabz said...

Yes indeed the peice was quite moving.

You are an amazing artist. Your photos of the baby are amazing...plus I LOVE KIDS! OH!

Think about selling your jewelry and other art pieces through your blog. I would buy stuff...I love artisans. I have long given up diamonds and precious jewels, I love the soul work of an artisan and you darling are an artist!

So think about displaying your stuff here...this is a world stage if you let it be.

If I come across grant info I will send it your way!

Lovebabz said...

OMG YOU CUT YOUR HAIR! OH I am so INSPIRED! I am thinking I may cut my dred locs...they are past my waist. Over 10 years is long enough to dred anything. I will be 45 in May and I am thinking hhhmmm.

I can't wait to see your photos of you---make sure you put up before and after!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

good for u , and the camera. But on the real PTSD is no joke

The Artist In Me said...

Hey Love:
Thank you much! I love kids as well and they are so pure in nature it is ridiculous....very inspirational.

I never thought about selling my stuff through my blog. I am not quite sure how I would do that....perhaps you can school me. Feel free to e-mail me more details. Thanks a bunch too for filling me in on grant info. I will take all the information that I can get.

YES...I cut my hair. It feels so odd to say the least. I no longer have anything to run my fingers through, although I play in it all day. I am sending the 18 or so inches that I cut off to locks of love. I decided that since I was so attached I needed to give it to someone that was less fortunate. Your dreads are past your waist...wow!

Thanks for giving me the right acronym. I had the S and the T backwards. Yeah, but it really is no joke. It is sad that the military does not honor the soldiers that suffer from this with a purple heart. Sometimes mentally suffering can be worse than suffering physically.

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

those pics are GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!

The Artist In Me said...

Hi PCD! Thanks a bunch for stopping by. It actually gives me good feedback on my work when folks comment on it.

Thanks again and don't be a stranger!

Be blessed!

Anonymous said...


Great seeing you last week! Keep up the good work!


The Artist In Me said...

TOTS: Seeing you last weekend was like a cool drink of water...so refreshing!

I'll do my best to keep up the good work :)

Jamal O said...

Beautiful images.

The Artist In Me said...

Thanks Jamal and welcome to my blog. It's funny, I was just looking at some of your images last night, and I think that they are wonderful as well. I love your images of the kids playing in the water.

Don't be a stranger!